Friday morning arrived, Day 4 of my Italy trip, and I was supposed to head to Florence a little before noon on my first high-speed train, or a Frecciarossa.

I got up and very leisurely spent the next hour and a half getting ready and re-packing my suitcase. I wanted to go grab a cappuccino at Bar Caffetteria RI’ but I still had to take the metro to Termini station, the main metro/train station, and the last thing I wanted to do was be late.

Side note: the metro was exceptionally easy to use and navigate while in Rome and I’ve read about shady people on or around it, but I didn’t run into any. I felt safe. I always stood with my back and bag against the wall, or if I was sitting, with my bag in my lap with my arm over it. No issues.

Once I arrived at Termini, I had probably 30 minutes to get to my platform and I was thankful for the extra time because I had no idea how to get there. I eventually found an attendant and basically showed him my ticket on my phone and he gave me simple directions to go up two levels and then turn. Up 2 levels? I forgot how much of Rome is underground! This means that there were 3 levels of subway trains and that kind of blew my mind.

I finally make it to my terminal, I get through “security” and try to figure out which platform my train will be arriving at. I look at the board and see my train and some numbers but it wasn’t until taking another look that I realized two things:
1. My train didn’t currently have an assigned platform.
2. My train was 85 minutes delayed.

Shit.
I could’ve stopped for my coffee.

I was mildly annoyed but hey, this is why I didn’t book anything for my day of travels around Italy. I always leave space to walk and explore, and that also meant I wasn’t missing anything with my delay…except for my caffeine. So, I found a coffee shop in the station (which was massive, by the way).  I entered, looked at the barista, and in confident Italian at this point I said, “un cappuccino, per favore”. He answered lengthily in Italian and motioned to my left. I sat there for half a second before laughing and then responded, “spiaciente, parla inglese?” He smirked and told me that I just needed to pay at the counter, first. I paid, I returned, I handed him my receipt, and I felt good that my Italian was good enough that I sounded like I knew what I was doing…even if it’s only because I ordered coffee the last few days.

Oh yeah, I wear lipstick almost every day here because everyone else looks way more put together than me. Faking it until I make it.

I had a lot of time to kill, so I spent it hanging out in the bar. A bar in Italy is a coffee bar, not an alcoholic one. If you want to sit to drink coffee, you generally pay more, so many Italians drink their coffee standing up at the bar. Most Italians also order a shot of espresso and finish it within 30 seconds.

I talked to the barista a bit and asked him if he ever drank coffee while working because it was so damn busy. He said he didn’t and that he actually would take a shot of alcohol when he got home to relax but that he also didn’t like how busy it got sometimes since he was the only one back there making the orders. He said that in the mornings, they definitely needed two people behind the counter. Sure enough, within 10 minutes, there was a big rush of people and he was over there grinding, pressing, and making a dozen espressos every few minutes. He looked over at me and said, “see?!” He was kind and I was glad for the lighthearted conversation. I asked if he minded if I took pictures and he said to go ahead and that he also had a camera, but that it was a Sony.
*ahem* Nikon all the way.

It was finally time to head back to the platforms. I thanked my new friend and a lady laughed when she realized I was taking pictures of him and she turned to tell him. She said something in Italian and smiled at me.

The train ride was about an hour and a half long and the train itself was very clean and comfortable. I got a window seat and had no one else sitting next to me, which was nice. I figured out the wifi — had to ask the attendants and then was directed to an English speaker — so I could entertain myself. At the start of the ride, I overhead a couple was from Boston. At the end, we started chatting and I told them that I was outside of Boston all summer! They were kind and we talked a bit while walking off the platforms. There are so many nice people to meet while traveling!

Now for the not so fun part…my phone service and internet went completely kaput. I was trying to keep in contact with my AirBnb host to get directions and check in. I couldn’t pull up the AirBnb app, my WhatsApp app, or even my location in maps! I was starting to panic because how the heck was I going to find this place?!

I finally get some sort of semblance of connection and got directions. Long story short, I walked past the AirBnb and what should’ve been a 10 minute walk from the station was a 40 minute long one that also included rain. I was stressed out and anxious once I finally found it.

I checked in, put my stuff down, and just laid in bed for 2 hours. I had planned on walking around Florence and getting a feel for the area, but after my morning/early afternoon, I was so over it. I did eventually go find food at a restaurant down the street. That’s when another interesting thing happened…

I accidentally ordered a pasta entree with meat sauce.

I’ve eaten a mainly vegetarian diet for 2 years, only including the occasional domestically caught fish 1-2x a month. I’m not a wasteful human though, and I’m almost positive that the livestock in Italy isn’t raised in CAFOs, so I didn’t feel too terrible about eating it. It was weird, though. And I’ve decided that I still don’t miss the texture or flavor of beef.

I get back to my room and I’m overall just feeling pretty defeated. Between the train delay, getting lost, and then my ordering mistake, my anxiety was pretty high. I was already having a hard time and then was negatively affected by a post on social media and started to spiral a bit. It was time for sleep. Tomorrow is another day.

If you deal with anxiety or depression, you know that being in a new, exciting place doesn’t mean that those things just go away. Know that you’re not alone and that you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Find ways to cope and calm your mind.